I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
