she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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