a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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