garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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