Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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