Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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