i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
