youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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