She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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