Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
