this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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