you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Randomize
