i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
