Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
