All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
