I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize