Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
