I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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