i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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