We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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