Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
