Betty ford says i'm here all night
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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