cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
