Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
