If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I bet he comes in French.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
