The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
nutella sex= disaster
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
