yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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