you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
