Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
