Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How's work?
Spinning.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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