I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
