yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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