Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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