So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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