I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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