shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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