I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
