i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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