when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
