wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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