Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
