he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
