don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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