did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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