quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
