Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
