sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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