google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
