I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
