Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
