Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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