Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
