you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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